just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
