everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
