Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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