idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
