have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
