its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize