Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
