I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm getting married
To pizza
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
