I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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