He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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