i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
