I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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