I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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