There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
