This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
