Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Where is the hickey?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
