Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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