so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
