He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
