I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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