I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
