Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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