On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
