She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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