u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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