dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
