remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize