i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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