i just had sex bonerless
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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