Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
