I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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