did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my being single is dangerous.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
