I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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