You just made me feel so damn special
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
