forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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