i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
