worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You need Xanax blowdarts
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
