Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just blew my weed a kiss
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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