I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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