hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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