Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
