That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
