I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
