I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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