don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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