Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
