So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
