Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
