This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just pee around me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
