areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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