dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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