By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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