garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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