from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
