We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
