You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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