Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
