Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
