So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
