You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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