y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
